Today I had my first lecture in the hospital. Other than not being able to sleep the night before because of the preparations made for my slides, its the second time I cried really hard and felt helpless.

After the lecture when I was beginning to edit and review the action plans for the final draft to be submitted to the Accreditation Canada portal, Sir Russel mentioned that Bahaa is no longer the clinical facilitator in our unit. I was shocked and immediately realized that this may be from the random file check he did the other week. I called Bahaa in his office but I can’t reach him. I tried to call by phone but my credit balance is almost zero and I can’t connect. I felt uneasy or guilty maybe. I’m not sure. I tried to focus on finalizing the action plans but I still feel uncomfortable and finally decided to go and meet him in his office. He was not there. Joy told me he went to the cardiologist’s office, I went there but he is nowhere to be found. I went back to QM office and sat there in front of my computer, still stunned for what I just heard. I still can’t believe that I lost someone important in my team. Okay, so its not “MY” team because I’m not the leader but then again I owe this person so much and if possible I don’t want him to go.  When I made up my mind, I called up our director of nursing and told her I will go to her office. I guess I just thought of her as the appropriate outlet for the emotions that are about to burst. Out of nowhere before heading to Level 7 Tower 1, I went back to Bahaa’s office and finally saw him there. I knew I’d burst into tears if I see him and I DID. “Nakakainis ka bakit mo kami iniwan!” was the first line I said while I grabbed the tissue box and wiped my tears. He asked why I was crying and I kept on answering him in Tagalog though I know he wouldn’t understand. After a while he told his side of story. I listened, cried and sniffed. I wanted to hug him really. The reason maybe that I was also hurt that he is out of the team is because I never had a clinical facilitator when I was new. The senior nurses were the one who taught me. I was jealous of my batch mates back then because they had someone who taught them one on one basis. Unlike in the in-patient units I had to learn every thing on my own. I was happy that a clinical facilitator is again back in the unit because the juniors and the new nurses will have someone to rely on when they have questions. Bahaa may not be from the ICU but he won’t be a clinical facilitator for nothing. I fear for those incoming nurses that they would feel the same thing I did, experience the same thing we had. Its hard to be lost and alone especially if racism and seniority is rampant. Second reason would be, Bahaa can to the special education and training that our nurse manager can’t do. I can always rely on Bahaa, from translating our booklets to Arabic, to special education sessions and meetings even if he is not on duty anymore. As far as I remember, all the special requests I asked him were granted. I owe him too much and its just so sad to know that he had to leave our team. I know the team goes on even without me, but losing him as a member…Let’s just see what happens.

To Bahaa, thank you so much for everything you did for the team and for the unit. I do appreciate every little thing you did and I’m sorry this happened.

Just Me. For Now. Still Crying while typing the this line.

Katt

P.S. Thank you Miss Angie for believing in me. I needed that.:) Photo from here.

Mother's Day 2009

On Faith

1. Attend mass on Sundays, its the least you could do if you are busy at work.
2. Every night before going to bed, thank God for all your blessings and ask forgiveness.
3. Every morning before rising from your bed, thank God that you are alive and ask for His guidance on the day ahead.

On Education

4.  Study hard. Knowledge and wisdom is the only wealth we can give you and its the only wealth that others can’t steal. “You are lucky you are studying in the best schools.” -I am.:)

5. When she scolds me that I am buying too much books, “You should be glad I’m not spending money on drugs and alcohol.” Then she just smiles and say, “Enough with CD’s only books.” (Mom! but music is life!)

On food

6. Learn how to cook.

7. “Tipirin mo na lahat, wag lang pagkain.”

8. Finish up your plate. Every grain is important for you and for the farmer who planted and harvested it.

On Money

9. Even when you get married, have a personal bank account.

On Love

10. When you love someone, do not give him your everything. If he leaves you have nothing left. Leave some love for yourself.

Just Me. For Now.

Katt

Three days ago I was planning to post my own version of the new slogan but suddenly my laptop crashed to which I bought a new one (which is definitely not on my budget, thanks to the friend who lent me moolah.) Anyhow, two days after it crashed I decided to have my lappy seen by an expert then when she returned the laptop to me this evening “The only problem is the charger.” WTF! I spent SR3000 for a laptop and the old one’s problem is just the charger. I started to regret the moment he handed it back to be but then I was also planning to buy a new one so it’s gonna be okay in the end. But I have to be in “tipid mode” for the next two months so I can pay for the new one. Oooohhh. I asked God for it, Thy will be done.

Back to the slogan, I made a picture of the windmills in Ilocos which is one of our major tourist attractions. But unfortunately I can’t post it right  now since I haven’t transferred my files. I’d have  a blog dedicated to it when my work in Quality Management Department is done. (I actually have the blog already but I haven’t posted it.) So for now, I’ll post the best (funny and parodies mostly) photos I’ve seen so far for the Number for Fun Campaign!

And of course, my friend Arvin’s version.:))

And for the Ilocanos out there. ACTION FILMS IS MORE FUN IN ILOCOS.

Convo with my Australian patient two days ago.

Charles: I have to been all over Asia but never been in the Philippines.

Me: You should go. It’s more fun in the Philippines. (Libre promotion. Thanks to me DOT.char)

Just Me. For Now.

Katt

*Photo credits to the respected owners.:)

According to WordPress’ year end report, I only have 30 posts for this year. I quite sad that I didn’t have enough time to blog (because I was really busy and my internet connection still sucks. I’d definitely live in South Korea for a year -they have the fastest internet connection in the globe.) So for next year, I promise to make it double and make it more worth reading. I’d love to continue the Bro Code series. I’d prolly post the first one for 2012 this weekend. (I’m missing my brother too much that’s why.) And be prepared for more Korean dramas and Kpop stuff. And more food and travel articles by third quarter.
Someone buy me this domain for my birthday? I’d love you forever!:)

Just Me. For Now.
Katt

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 38,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 14 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.