The worst people you meet in a hospital

They say that you meet your best friends in high school. I met mine when I was a freshmen and I’m lucky we are still “intact”.:D You meet other friends in college but may not be as special as your friends in high school. After college, you meet real people in your workplace. True it is. I’m a nurse. I’ve worked my ass off dealing with these kinds of people since 2008. Here’s the list.

1. The VVIP (The very very important patient)

This is what school never warned you about. I can’t recall a single clinical instructor or professor who said that I will meet these people. They may be the first people who made you cry or the first reason why you made an incident report. They are those post normal vaginal delivery patients who wants you to hand the remote for the aircon/TV. They are those patients who wants you to close the curtain because the sun is too bright. They are those patients who wants you put the AC in fan, turn off the AC or hand you a glass of water that is at arm’s length/within reach. They are those patients who complain of pain every five minutes and wants a Pethidine shot every after the complaint. They are those people who thinks that hey will die if you will not give pain medication. They are those people who knows high ranking officials like King Abdullah, Al-Rasheed or maybe Barack Obama. Treat these people gently, they think their hospital bill goes solely in you salary.

2. The Genius

These are the kind of people who would’ve gotten a nursing or medical degree instead of you. These people are the ones who are smarter than the nurse and always ask “Why are you doing this and that? instead of this.” These are the people whom you have to explain 1 to 10 WHY you have to do this, give this, etc. These are the people who don’t understand or just simply dumb. If you encounter these people make sure you take two extra doses of patience and a lot of references. P.S. If you can take webMD, Wikipedia or Google in your pocket, please gladly hand it over to them.

3. The Queen Bee

This is the mother/wife/girlfriend/aunt/sister/daughter or any other female figure who acts like you are the maid and she is the queen. This the person who will tell you to get the trash after giving an oral medication. Oh hell yes, we spent four years in nursing school and sleepless nights just to get a license and this person treats you like “You have to obey me or else…” This is the person who will demand an extra blanket, extra soap, extra shampoo, extra chair, extra trolley, extra plastic bag and all the other extras your hospital can provide. They are the ones who want to transfer to the other room because the view is better and sometimes (just sometimes though) after knowing the price would rather stay in the previous room (Oh, so the rooms with better view are more expensive. Think hotel rooms in Roxas Blvd facing the Manila, ganun rin pala ang charge.) They are almost the same as the VVIP except they are not the ones having the hospital ID band.

4. Doctor You Know Who/He Who Must Not Be Named

Its a crime to voice out their name. These are the most popular doctors in your hospital. I bet you wouldn’t want to say their names so you give them pet names instead. These are the doctors whose only duty is to assess the patients and change dressings and its a crime to waste their time in looking for sachets of sugar to put in a post amputated diabetic foot. (I know, I know. Its my first time to witness it too.) These are the doctors who get mad and shout at you like there is no tomorrow during intubation (because they can’t really intubate and they need to call their senior doctor who will do the procedure). These are the doctors who asks you why you gave a Perfalgan and also gets mad when you don’t give Perfalgan. Some of the doctors in this group are not to be disturbed during sleep while others are not to be disturbed when praying. (even when the patient is on Code Blue). These are the doctors that no matter how kind you are, they will always be in your target list or dart board.

5. The Better Nurse

Since this is the group of people whom you will work with most of the time, you get to observe them almost everyday. These are the nurses who look at your every mistake but they can’t see theirs. These are the nurses who help you but will command you on what to do with your patient. These are the ones who still classifies diabetes mellitus as NIDDM and IDDNM. (And when I asked why is IDDM written in the patient’s file, she said with the look that says you-don’t-know-this-shit, “IDDM, Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus. Pag nag-iinsulin yung pasyente pag hindi NIDDM.” GaaaaAd gusto ko i-correct at ipakita sa kanya website na ito. So obsolete your info my dear. Thank God I had the best clinical instructors. Now, I’m remembering Dr. Chedie Cambaliza” Ever wonder why Dr. Emad Gharib never wrote IDDM or NDDM? Pick up your brain.) These are also the nurses who, “Tapos ka na Katt? Nagawa mo na yung (insert task here)?” (Guys, chillax lang wala pang alas dose bat ba nagmamadali kayo?) These are the nurses who talked behind another nurse’s back, kala mo mabait sa harap mo yun pala mas maitim pa ang budhi sa ‘yo.

In others point of view, am I classified in no.5? hmmm… Tingin ko naman

BTW, I made this post because I was inspired by how my patient treated me after taking care of her. Here’s to Mama Zarina and her family. I hope you don’t meet these people on the list and I hope you won’t be one of them.:) Cheers!

Find the worst person

Just Me. For Now.